I’ve never celebrated my birthday on the actual day. Cake, candles and making wishes would need to wait until Thanksgiving (U.S. Holiday) which could be a few days to more than a week away. Unlike friends who celebrate their birthdays with a day, week or even a month of fun, I have a November birthday which means it doesn’t get its own spotlight, I’ve had to share it with a turkey. So while the table was full of pie – pumpkin and apple – it was also the spot for my birthday cake. Everyone sang to me, I blew out candles, I made wishes. I often wondered if the wishes counted since they weren’t on the actual day. Even as a kid, I over thought everything.
Such is the curse that is a holiday birthday or one near any holiday. My sister might have it a bit worse with a birthday a few days after Christmas (combo presents). So rather than be disappointed when friends and family aren’t around to share cake with me, I started traveling for my birthday a few years ago. I started making my birthday really about me and not waiting for others to celebrate me. Finding somewhere to travel is November is tricky though as not only is it off season but its also a bit chilly in most places. Not that the weather will stop me, its just a consideration. I’ve traveled in November to Australia twice for a bit of spring warmth (plus lots of award space in business class!).
I recently read an interesting article “Birth Weeks” Are Not a Thing which addresses those stretching birthday celebrations into a week or even a month of celebrations. I had to laugh when the author mentioned her November birthday and the Showtime Couples Therapy show as I felt I understood her opinion so much more. Many folks stop celebrating their birthdays – they don’t like being center of attention or acknowledge getting older. But for me, I really never celebrated my birthday which is why for my 40th a few years ago, I rented a bar and invited all my friends for a night out. Nothing says love like an open bar! It was fantastic to see friends from grade school, high school, college and work come together for a night out. It’s so rare to get on someone’s calendar. Fast forward a few years and social media likes and comments are as close as we can get to a night together (yes, it saddens me too).
So while I should be away this year for my November birthday and Thanksgiving, unfortunately, I’m looking for a job. The cruel irony is that I have a plethora of time to travel but not the money to spend on travel, even if I used points here and there. This year’s birthday trip was going to be EPIC – a birthday bucket list item. If you’ve been reading the blog for a while, you’ll know that I hate the “bucket list” term but it’s appropriate in this context since I was planning on an overwater bungalow in The Maldives. For years, I was saving money and points for this crazy, expensive trip.
Alone in Paradise? No one understands how I could go away on my birthday and celebrate alone (yes, the irony) and be alone in what appears to be paradise. That’s the thing about travel for me, it’s about resetting my mind, body and soul. Every part of me craves travel – exploring the vast world and learning something new about other cultures and people through their foods, traditions and stories.
Each story is a collection to add to my journey. A story of life, love and loss. A story of hope, laughter, tears. A story of a life lived. Each one adding to the story of my life. Each birthday is a new chapter in my story. Travel provides me the words and memories to weave into my story. It seers pictures, feelings and wow moments into my memories just for me. There are special moments not to share, just to keep and remember with a smile and a tear.
When I’m grounded and unable to travel as I am now, my story feels like I’m stuck reading the same page in the book, or feels like pausing the movie and forgetting to come back and press play. A life on a ground stop. That’s not who I am meant to be – I’m meant to travel – to create my own story – to add a new chapter. To experience, observe and participate in the world around me.
This year, while I’m home, I’m reminded of the fun November birthday trips of the past (Facebook is torturing me daily with remember when x years you were here). From the first trip to London during Thanksgiving break to my recent trip to London earlier in the year and the many birthday trips in between. You can read about some of the adventures below.
- Roadtrip Utah – Red Mountain Spa in Utah and Zion National Park Solo
- Antelope Canyon & Horseshoe Bend (Page, Arizona)
- Las Vegas Solo Birthday Trip
- Sydney, Australia – Raining on My Birthday Parade
- Hobart, Tasmania – MONA Art Musuem
- London Thanksgiving Memories
- Iceland Solo Travel
- Paris Thanksgiving – The Year Mom Boycotted Turkey
Moving forward, I’m hopeful for a new job and to have a reason to press play again – to record the new stories and to write a new chapter. A life on pause is frankly no fun. Daily rejections feed my want to escape on the next flight. I need to travel – to be up in the air on the way to an unknown adventure and exploring different parts of me that give me perspective on what’s important. Birthdays are wonderful to mark a new year but they can’t be a reason to measure love, admiration and self-worth with likes, cards and well wishes. For me, a better birthday measure is miles traveled, stories shared, lessons in love, life, loss and finding joy in the everyday normal pace of life. I’ve been lucky to make wishes and blow out candles in multiple time zones, to celebrate with strangers who became friends and to realize that to celebrate me is pretty awesome. Focus me on me and be selfish with want I want and need (presents always welcome).
So for now, the bucket list birthday is deferred while I get to enjoy leftover turkey and cake. If you are also a November holiday birthday – Happy Birthday!